The clock is ticking..

The last month here has been full of emotional roller-coaster rides. The goodbyes finally began and time is starting to disappear. I feel like April and May were just beyond incredible months for me. The weather has been beautiful in Madrid 80s to 90s everyday, and I see Madrid through a different pair of eyes because I can wander the streets in the sunny weather. One of my two best friends, Sam, said in her blog at the beginning of the year that when you leave the US you see the world through blue lenses, when you arrive in a different country you see the world in yellow lenses and then one day you wake up and you see the world through green lenses. This is what has happened to me in the last few months. I now see and understand two completely different cultures. I have friends from the US and friends from Spain, and both groups mean so much to me. I can speak, read and write in two languages (common conversation of course). And my heart is split into two pieces one for Lake Tahoe and the US and one for Madrid and Spain. It is unlike any feeling I have ever felt, I have never been this happy and content in my life. This year I have made some of the best relationships I have ever made in my life, and I have experienced some of the most challenging situations, but that has only made me stronger.

This past week, Emma and I said goodbye to Sam as she had to return to the Minneapolis and go back to reality, you could say. It was an anticipated goodbye, we all knew that this year eventually would come to an end, but once she left we felt like a part of our exchange had left. Emma and Sam have become my family here, we just understand what we are all going through. Coming here I never thought I would make two friendships that I know will last for a lifetime and I couldn't be more appreciative to have them both.
(Forever and Always)

Along with the relationships I have with Emma and Sam, I also have my Spanish friends and my sister. Nerea and I have had our differences this year, but I completely consider her my sister and best friend now. I would have been lost this year without her, and on a daily basis we say how much we are going to miss each other.

Here I sit in my room, in Madrid, Spain with approximately 38 days left and the question is what do I think? Am I excited to go home, yes in ways. But am I sad to go, more than you know. Life has become very bittersweet and everyday I ask myself, am I living it to the fullest? But, then I look back on my year, and I think "Are you kidding, of corse I am living it to the fullest." So I spend my time reading great books, writing down my ideas on life, talking to people in beautiful parks, and practicing one of the most beautiful languages. What more can I ask for?

My cousin showed me this and I think it represents exactly how I feel with 5 weeks left..
Quotations THE STATION

By Robert J. Hastings

TUCKED AWAY in our subconscious minds is an idyllic vision in which we see ourselves
on a long journey that spans an entire continent. We're traveling by train and, from the
windows, we drink in the passing scenes of cars on nearby highways, of children waving at
crossings, of cattle grazing in distant pastures, of smoke pouring from power plants, of row
upon row upon row of cotton and corn and wheat, of flatlands and valleys, of city skylines and
village halls.

But uppermost in our conscious minds is our final destination--for at a certain hour and on a
given day, our train will finally pull into the Station with bells ringing, flags waving, and bands
playing. And once that day comes, so many wonderful dreams will come true. So restlessly, we
pace the aisles and count the miles, peering ahead, waiting, waiting, waiting for the Station.

"Yes, when we reach the Station, that will be it!" we promise ourselves. "When we're
eighteen. . .find that love of your life… win that promotion. . . put the last kid through college. . . buy that 450SL Mercedes-Benz. . . have a nice place for retirement!"

From that day on we will all live happily ever after.

Sooner or later, however, we must realize there is no Station in this life, no one earthly
place to arrive at once and for all. The journey is the joy. The Station is an illusion--it
constantly outdistances us. Yesterday's a memory, tomorrow's a dream. Yesterday belongs to a
history, tomorrow belongs to God. Yesterday's a fading sunset, tomorrow's a faint sunrise. Only
today is there light enough to love and live.

So, gently close the door on yesterday and throw the key away. It isn't the burdens of today
that drive men mad, but rather regret over yesterday and the fear of tomorrow. Regret and
fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today.

So stop pacing the aisles and counting the miles. Instead, swim more rivers, climb more
mountains, kiss more babies, count more stars. Laugh more and cry less. Go barefoot more often.
Eat more ice cream. Ride more merry-go-rounds. Watch more sunsets. Life must be lived as we
go along. The Station will come soon enough.

So here I am, enjoying the journey.

Home is where your heart is with the people you love and care about.

Lots of Love!